hey .. I'm kinda lazy to blog nowadays, thou hv loads of tings to share.Life seems to b swirling ard. My mind n body looks as if they dun belong together.I hv hd pple coming up to me n slapping me wif their words.. asking me to 'WAKE UP'!..hmm 2 many things crossing my hemisphere.Nil interaction seen.. 2nd yr coming to an end 2 weeks more to exams..
wat am i gona do man.. I wana excel.. But y ? y? y so many distraction. My dad warned me but y din i take his advice.. I feel that i am juz tying a cloth ard my eyes n walking across a pole 20 storeys high..wil i fall?? I dun know e answer for that as well.!.been hurt, verbally abused, cried so much til ther's hardly any tears left to shed!!!! I hv no more energy left to antagonize any1..

Hold my hand and I'll take you there, somehow, someday, somewhere."

'Sometimes I miss you so much, I just want to rip you out of my dreams and hug you so tight..!!!"

He doesnt want 2 forgive..nt wanting to comment hw many countless times I hv forgiven hm..He chose his ways n I dn wana do anything against.
When e day comes when he realized hw remorseful I felt abt 2dy I hope I aint far away..No one else is to b blamed Its all ME!! Understood n accepted..!! Feeling of hopelessness,sorrows overpowering me..'U pushed me a few steps n nw I feel as thou I hv moved far far away!!!..

E nw yr, many nw tings.,nw rules, friendship's on e rocks..partially sud blame myself.. I can nvr kp a bestie 4 life.. its always tat i fl very pressured when I m ard her, she is wonderful bt sometimes i juz wan u 2 kn i cnt b ther 24 hrs physically..Love life seems so different nw.. things r sailing very smooth.. n I am having a pleasant journey, seen alot of changes in hm.,
I seek for ur forgiveness 4 causing so much of hurt..I too changed myself 4 e better..
I sensed tat i develop sum deg of possessiveness over him.I tried my luck fooling ard wif him.. n when he did e same ting i felt very pissed.. Women wil always b Women..
I hate sharing my stuffs..Nw u realise wher I hv placed u..!!! Sch's tough.,bt coping wel enuff..
I wish things to get better btn me n 'k' juz wish...'sighs'.she sud stop talking abt her bf 4 e timebeing getting tired of old tales, n dn expect me 2 cl u all e time..I reali fl so blank when we run out of tings to talk,,!!!!Goto tel tis 'k' bt i do respect ur friendship...
In my own world............. i am dreaming away...........!!!!!!

hey happy New YeaR..!
spend the first day of my new yr slping thru.. went to c godpa.. Surprise no nagging.. haha
my mum cooked horrible food today.. vegetable soup wif steam fish..healthy food month.. arrr..
ok.. lemme tell ya hw i spend e end of 2006..
Me n 'k' were like cracking our heads tinking wher to go.. n then i decided hooters at clark quay..
my new yr ws actually planned wif 'sum1'.. bt he hd too many stuffs to look into so I hd 2 let him go..so where was i oh yea hooters.. we went ther.. ambience ws gd..,great peeps..loads of fun.
hmm.. Post meal we went to party nt even on our list actually.. bt hey once in awhile its ok..
'k' actually had sum misunderstanding with her by guy, n e fault ws nt even hers,.. its a love affair i din wanted to get myself involved too much.. if u jumped into it u goto face it..tats wat i alwaes told her.. bt seeing her dwn din lk any better,, so trying to cheer her up..boost her energy level ,appearing a lil 2 clowny,wel smetimes u gt 2 b flexible..
ok i mng to..hehe.. we did mng to countdown nt waiting in any queue .. glad tat 'k' enjoyed herself she juz came to me n hugged me so tite... wishing me happy new yr.. tears of happiness in her eyes.. I juz hd so much fun wif her.. smething to rem til my downfall...Love u loads gurlie...

Painful day... having tooth ache for 3 consecutive days,due to my wisdom tooth,
wanted 2 try ignoring bt failed..
Went 2 c e dentist, he said e tooth ws slanted n e best remedy s 2 do an extraction.,
No pain at first due to e numbness bt after i woke up fr my nap oh my it ws reali horrible..
I'm a fd lover n i ws told nt to eat solids for 3 goddamn days...
How am I gona survive??tis seems worst than sum survivor series..
Mum ws scheduled to go bk 2 wk 2dy.,Bt she ws so swt she extended her leave.
Juz to lk after her lil toothless kid.. hahaha..
My shopping trip wif kas kas also cancelled..damn I miss u.
i think its cuming to a mth eva since v hd a gdtime 2gether..argh.
I wana go 4 training 2mrw bt dad advices me nt 2 as i am stil under painkillers..
N nd 2 catch up wif manz asap..hopefully b4 sch reopens so far i hv bn such a slacker
to cancel al e meetings... sorry..
thanx mich n mike 4 ur so called hm visit.
I fl even more like a pt after seeing those herbal stuffs u bought...Argh..!!!!

The gentle rain...
Falls to soothe my pain...
When I think of the scars that stay...
Throughout the gloomy day...
Cleansing my very soul..
From the top of my body to the sole...
I think of an angel...
Who appears with regards to his decision...
His aquaintance I will make eventual..
For his very presence brings me pacification...

The union of two souls is near...
But i do have a fear...
The day he decides to vanish..
Will be the day I will feel ultimate anguish...
I wait with patience...
For his pleasant resolution...
I hope for his preference..
For the final union...

SomeThing FoR U

*Fighting to shine once again,
To mend the heart, ease the pain,
And yet fears still stare,
Waiting for me to fall into the snare,
In this life where happiness is to be expected,
Why do I still feel uninvited..?
*In the end I'm not perfect.
I'll annoy you and tick you off.
Say stupid things and then take them back.
But put all of that aside,..
You will never find a girl who loves you more than I do.

SleepleSS

SleepLeSs....
i cnt get to bed....... The very intense i close my eyes I start imagining.. She is so nicely cuddled up & I feel like a zombie rt now..damn..!!!!..Fr wat i hv counted i made myself 3 cups of tea n stil nt getting into my bed... Miracles?? Or mb i sud juz pop a few tabs of piriton.. what if i dun wake up at all ha ha ha...thats e last thing i wud do..
The Weather is so conducive for a gd slp,.. such tings always happens to me... Y???
Becoz I am a Scaddy Cat..those who hv no idea what e hack i am talking abt read my previous blog .. juz entered an hour ago n u wil kn e reason y i am grumbling....

Frightened?? Anxious??SCARED???

oh well..
Juz had a Long chat with kas kas,.. Gosh I miss you..had 2 catch up wif wats e latest update at werk bla bla bla...
Somehow our topics jumped n it was exactly 12 midnight, e clock ticked.. hey wait am I trying to impersonate russell lee or sum crapster.. nah.. this is reali freaky...Listen!!!
Kas started sharing wit me stories abt pple being possessed n stuffs.. n she shared a freaky experience abt her fren having a very scary encounter.. she knew i wud b terrified bt silly gurl kept rattling away... she mentioned a 3 syllabus name of someone n things got even spooky.. I went hunting for my lockets n holding it close to my heart, kept reminding myself not to get scared...As she was very enthusiatically telling e story my feet started turning cold 4 no apparent reason,i heard squeaking noises coming fr my living rm,My imagination running wild & i knew tat i wun hv any1 to kp me company until i doze off as my sis is @ wk 2nite......I gt too engrossed & Finally I snapped 'Hey STOP" you r freaking me out..!!!!.. Lucky me I did that or else i can totally 4get e idea of sleeping today....
Still feeling anxious & frightened,.. I juz hope tat i dun hv any bad dreams 2nite..
Kas Kas I am reali gonna kill u for tis .... reali reali badly.. gurl u gonna get it... argh..!!

ARgh.!!!!

ok enuff of al my love stories lets do something new today,,,
I duno y my temper was so terrible 2day feeling so lethargic n frustrated..
I tink it al started up wif me missing my bio lec after switching off my alarm when it rang @ 7am..I hv bn grumpy, gloomy, argh i duno what best describe e way i felt..
I spend abt 10 over bucks on juz buying chocolates.. 2day ws my chocolate indulgence day,,din reali care much abt calories.. haha
Ate a couple of varieties. Post chocolates i felt abit better,, wait let me think mb a lil bit..
I am so glad e lecturers called off a no. of lects next wk.. tat brought a wide smile on my sloppy face..All i wana do nw is 2 go do sum pampering 2 my overgrown toe nails or my dull face...., or juz cuddle myself to slp., or mb continue wif my chocs bar until i get sick over em'... till v meet again.. ' yawns'
bye bye folks..

beautiful poEm..

Never say'I love you'

if you reALLy dont care

Nver Talk Abt FeEliNGS if they arent reali there

NeVER HolD my hands if you decide to break My Heart

NevEr Say You Are GoinG to If yoU arent Planning To sTart
NEver Look Into My eYEs If all You do iS Lie

NeVer SaY hI IF yOU reAlLy meAN GoOdByE

iF YoU rEAlLy MeAn ForeveR tHEN Say YoU wIlL tRY
nEveR sAy ForeveR cuZ fOrEver mAkeS mE CrY..

LiaR

You can call me Liar If i claim that i dun miss ya.. There is not a moment in time when you actually leave my fleeting thoughts ..Often get tongue tied when you r ard yet my silence speaks volume..I love to be where u r now.. becoz juz a moment beside you ....feels likes a lifetime.....

love is Life

Love is life..
love is something more than an emotion..an heartbeat fast as an locomotion...Love is thrilling when its there..An empty feeling when it isnt..Starvation of body cause to die....while the heart cause you to cry...If love is true.. there should be no fear...in order to have love there has to be trust ...dont abuse love and mistake it for lust..for love is something beautiful n pure..its more than a feeling u feel...its so sacred n a gift that i always treasure..when i first text him abt my feelings i felt so fearful..e feeling of rejection, an utter hopelessnessbut i kn i goto do it someday..anxiousness building as every minute evry second passed..His msg came as a breeze at 21/11 1339..It was such a relief..Al I wana do now is to hold u close to my heart& never let go....

finally

Finally another perfect date with him than e first one i had...Expressed a few views abt self to each other...My head swirls just thinking abt it all.but sometimes in e course of dating a couple of things juz get ur mind wandering..Some pple juz leave those footprints so deep tat's so hard 2 erase... Tis Guy managed 2 grab my heart.,sending chills 2 my spine..& get me 2 njoy his company so much so tat i neva wanted 2 part..his presence was more than enuff 2 mk my day...I m juz romantic when dealing wif matters of e heart....Being in bad relationships has nt changed my perception abt man..if u start judging al e men e same way then one cn forget abt starting anythin off.....Tis is 1 of e man i dated so far s worth expressing my love..I stil wonder y was I so attracted 2 tis guy.??. bt e feelings had nt stopped eva since it flourished.. Wil i b able 2 get out of it ??? I duno.!!Gurls r generally very emotional..they wan reassurance fr a guy b4 they start off with smethin nice n swt called Relationship...Yes in my case e topic came abt 2... & wat he told me nearly killed my inner soul...I dun wan2 jump & encounter an unpleasant ending..I dn wana sail another sinking ship anymore....bt his reasons wer very genuine..I dn belief in scarcity neither do i wana man-bash.. both r gonna have negative impact on me...I view obstacles as challenges be it of any kind...Nw wat i hv embarked on is yet another risky task bt i wana take up e challenge & c wat lies beneath..Dating is not abt finding a life partner Its abt finding a soulmate...It’s about DISCOVERING more about yourself thru relationship wif others. It’s about BRINGING OUT THE BEST in urself & others thru exercising that most beautiful of all human muscles: the heart. The more u love, the more u succeed...Getting the guy who makes your best TEAMMATE in e harsh obstacle course of life.But 2 get a great teammate, you’ve got to be a good team player. And 2 b a gd team player, you’ve gt 2 learn hw 2 work WITH him …nt agst him,& nt 4 him....Hope 2 create a lasting Love wif this special soul who entered my life...You use 2 ask me y i love to smile to myself,,would u believe it if i said e reason was YOU..?. my heARt feeLs beinG Loved agaiN,....